Answering Questions

As I am on break from work, I hung out at home all morning, reading comics (GoComics.com), checking email, and scrolling through Facebook. North and South Korea were shooting at each other, Rat ran over some guy's toes for not waving, and Angela's daughter did something cute again.

Right at noon, I hopped into Scooter (the Honda Fit) and drove to the hospital. I got lost in the parking lot, and turned around, because I couldn't go straight, and finally found the right entrance and the right parking lot. I took my bag of meds and a children's novel with me.

I gave the woman at registration my insurance card and driver's license, and she asked a couple of questions to verify who I was. She gave me a form, a kind of check-off sheet about medical conditions, which I checked through. She also gave me some papers to give to the volunteer around the next corner. The volunteer took the papers, and told me to find a seat to wait. I sat. I waited. I read. I smiled at the silliness of the book. I don't know how much I read, a chapter or two, maybe, but it is a children's book. Then I was called back.

The scale was very friendly. I weigh most mornings when I shower. I weighed a pound less at the hospital, fully clothed, than I had weighed this morning, before breakfast. I figure it was giving me a good 5 pounds, maybe a bit more. I mentioned that to the nurse, who laughed, and said that was what the nurses on the floor kept saying, but the Powers-That-Be had declared the scale accurate, so it stays.

I guess the first person I saw in the office area wasn't a nurse, but an aid, but she took my blood pressure, pulse, and pulse-ox, and then hooked up an EKG. All normal. I looked at the EKG, and I recognized the peaks and saw that the rhythm was consistent and in the right range. I don't remember the progression of peak sizes. But the aid said is was perfectly normal, which is what I saw.

She took three tubes of blood. She wiggled the needle a little to improve the flow at one point. It didn't hurt much.

After the aid left, a nurse came in. RN, BSN, I saw on her badge. I couldn't see the first woman's badge. It was backward the whole time she was there. The nurse asked me a few questions. Do I smoke? No. Do I drink? Yes. Often? Daily. Beer, wine, or liquor? I wondered why that mattered, but I said beer or wine. The truth, sometimes both. Last night, I had two home brews. She asked about surgery in my past. Appendectomy, I was 4. Chest pain? No. Allergies? One antibiotic, rash.

Then she reviewed all my meds, including when I take them. She said I shouldn't take the ACE inhibitor the morning of the operation. I can take the others.

A nurse practitioner was next. She listened to my heart and lungs. Briefly. That was it. I was ready to go.

So I guess I'm cleared for surgery. I expect the blood tests will come out within normal ranges.

I have a pamphlet about colorectal surgery. I'm getting a right hemicolectomy, robot-assisted. I can hardly wait.

Operation Pre-Op

I have to have an operation in a week. I had a medical procedure, and something was found that has to be removed. I've been telling people I was having a third of my brain removed, but it is really closer to the other end. I have a flat polyp, which couldn't all be removed when it was found, and flat polyps have an annoying habit of turning into cancer.

I haven't had surgery since I was, like, 4. I got appendicitis. I don't remember much about it, just vague images of barfing on my brother, and eating from a tray in the hospital. This time, because I'm older and more worn by time and mileage, I have to go for pre-op testing. I'm wondering what that will be like.

I guess I may have an EKG (or ECG for you purists), because I'm old enough to have heart issues, and there is a family history. Dad had a heart attack on his 60th birthday, and a stoke a couple of years later, though he lived for over 15 years after that. I'm younger than Dad was with those events, but I take a pill each morning to keep my blood pressure down. And another pill at night to keep my cholesterol down. So, yeah, I have risk factors.

Will the doctor or nurse let me read the EKG? Can I still do that? I haven't seen one in a long time.

What else will they do to me? A general physical, I'm sure. Digital exam? Yes, I'm leaving out the gross parts, in case any of my readers, should they exist, are squeamish. But I know where the digit goes.

I have no fears about the physical, but I could worry about the operation if I didn't keep myself in check. I've heard stories. Even if everything goes well, I could be in pain for weeks. What's going to happen at work, without me there? And how long will Liz be willing to wait on me, and bring me books? Will I be able to eat a normal diet again after? And will the doctor let me drink all that home brew in my basement? Ever? And how long will it take us to pay off our share of the cost? Especially since I'll be on short term disability, which pays a lot less than my normal salary, until I can get back to work. Will worrying over that slow my recovery, and cost me even more?

It might be easier if they did take a third of my brain. Then I wouldn't worry about any of this s***.